Russian jokes translated to English

After some discussion we've figured out that the best punch line for worm joke would be "He's gone fishing"
Thanks to markusn

Small worm asks his mother:
- Mom, where is dad?
- He's fishing with the guys.

There is lieutenant Rzhevsky writing something. Colonel comes in.
- What are you writing?
- Anthem of our regiment.
- Let me see.. Hey, it is all bad langugage!
- No, not all. Look, there is a word 'banner' in the second line.

Lieutenant Rzhevsky and Natasha Rostova walking in the garden near the lake.
- Lieutenant, would you like to become a swan.
- Naked ass to cold water? No, thank you!